What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why does my dog keep licking at her privates now? She is 7 years old and has barely started licking there. The vet said she’s fine but she keeps doing that.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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TEXT:

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Can ancient music sound modern?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I have a "fat pussy" and I'm super self cautions about it. Do guys think it's gross?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.